“Will I ever feel ‘normal’?”
When you’ve lived in survival mode for decades and kept the past locked away, for good reason. It’s the most unnerving thing to consider opening up the (trauma) can of shit.
Even considering counselling is too much for most. And it’ll take a super human effort to take that first leap of faith in to getting help. Opening up slowly and starting your process of healing.
Doing the work can take years.
Doing The Work can take years. If you had a difficult childhood for 18 years, it might be unrealistic to expect healing to happen in six weeks (like I did 😆). Nine years on from my first session, I’m so flippin’ proud of myself for seeking help when I felt broken.
In fact, life got much more complex for me, but I see it as part of the self work I’ve needed to do. In that time, I’ve changed careers, relocated again (would highly recommend) and replaced many old survival habits/addictions. (Being a workaholic is an accepted by society addiction). With more authentic connections and healthy ways of being. And I’m learning I don’t need to keep ‘faking it till I make it’. I’ve no problem in showing who I am to anyone who wants to see me.
Undo the years of damage.
Michael Unbroken is really fab to follow on insta and helps explain things in a no nonsense way.
Trauma Thrivers by Lou Lebentz is a fantastic group to join and follow with lots of info.
In my opinion, humanistic based and trauma informed, long-term therapy is what works best. To undo the years of damage, we need lots of time to heal.
You must shop around for your therapy because trusting your counsellor is key. Consider it the most significant self investment you will ever make, because it is.
Learning how to heal in your own way.
Learning how to work with your body, slowly, alongside therapy and over time. E.g. yoga, learning embodiment practices, dancing – if that’s your thing, etc. are essential for healing work. And for some, the combined approach works best, e.g. somatic experiencing therapy founded by Peter Levine.
There are obviously many alternative and different views out there about how to heal. And each person’s path is their own to navigate, but I’m here talking about what’s worked for me. In the hope it may give you some light.
Good luck with your onwards journey.
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